The Pros of Long Distance Relationships

Ben malaysia meal

Ben’s pot noodles and wine in Malaysia

Yup, you read rightly. Lets talk about the pros of being in a long distance relationship. My boyfriend is currently in Malaysia on a three month work posting, you can read our story here. Sure, it is not the ideal situation, it’s hard work that requires a whole other level of commitment and understanding. But as we have another month or so until we’re together again, I’m focusing on the positives and enjoying my time to myself.

So here they are, the pros of a long distance relationship:

  1. You get the whole bed to yourself. This would be best in summer when it’s warmer, but I haven’t been that cold this winter, so I’ll take it. I sleep in the middle of the bed with all the blankets curled around me like my own cocoon. Bliss.
  2. You can dictate your own bed time. I definitely need more sleep than Ben and try to be in bed by 10pm on school nights. But it always gets pushed back when a movie is started late or we try to cook an ambitious dinner. Also, no-ones sleep is disturbed when you stumble in drunk and clumsy after a night out. That’s two on sleep, so obviously all around good in terms of calling the shots on your sleep.
  3. You can eat cereal for dinner, or a jacket potato, or microwave curry meals. Basically I put as little effort as humanly possible into my meals. Ben and I generally took turns to cook during the week, and usually created something good with minimal fuss Without someone else to cook for and share the work load, I have found myself very lazy about making proper meals. I love the extra time it frees up in my night though, and I’m not alone in this, Ben makes pot noodles in Malaysia.
  4. You have more time to spend on personal development……… or 50 hours of TV. It is surprising how many hours you seem to have when your significant other is not around, I wish I had been more productive than I was. But I have had a lot of time to think about my blog, goals, plans for the future. Which brings me to my next point,
  5. You are forced to think about the big picture. When you are taken out of the everyday routines of taking out the rubbish and drying the dishes, it comes down to just you and your significant other and a whole lot of talk about the future. The future when you will be together, obvs.
  6. Personal grooming doesn’t have to be a thing. Just kidding….. (Sorry, not kidding). Again, it’s like eating cereal for dinner, with no one around to notice, you can relax a little.
  7. You become more self-reliant. It’s not that I’m not a strong and independent women, 100% of the time. But I think you naturally come to rely on the strengths of your significant other, rather than learning for yourself. Ben is very good with computers and is just generally very good at fixing things, so when he is around I leave those things to him. When he hasn’t been here though, I have resurrected my laptop (after knocking it off my desk (!!)), and fixed a few cupboard door latches. Not huge things, but I’m glad I just got on with it and fixed them. I could easily have waited until Ben was back home.
  8. Your relationship gets stronger. A long distance relationship takes a whole lot of commitment from both parties. It is a lot of effort to maintain a relationship over oceans and time zones and it is putting in the time and effort to communicate and be really thoughtful that is a pretty good indicator of the strength of your relationship. If you can make it through the challenges of long distance, you can make it through anything.
andie london meal

My corn flakes and Sex and the City

Any I have missed? And let me know what you get up to when your other half is not around, I know I’m not the only one who eats cereal and watches too much TV.

You say good morning, I say good night…

10447074_10205810271513426_6628282384645488423_nIt’s fitting that the first time I write about my relationship we’re half a world apart. Ben is in Kuala Lumpar for work for three months. It’s tough without him around, but this is not our first rodeo. Traveling for work and working to travel has meant that a fair part of our relationship has been conducted through Skype, email and every once in a while handwritten letters. My email account records hours and hours of mundane emails about what we’re having for dinner and my wardrobe store piles of letters and cards signed off with ‘I miss you’.

10955784_10205810268353347_2418816722798412617_nBen and I are becoming long distance relationship pros. We didn’t know what we were getting ourselves in for at first, we were way too young and naive to think it through properly. At 21 I packed up my life and moved to Japan to teach English. This had been my goal and dream for ages and I had been talking to Ben about it constantly since we started dating just over a year before I left. We decided to stay together and six months later, Ben joined me in Japan. We spent a year exploring together until Ben’s visa ended and he went ahead to the UK, and we spent another 8 months apart while I finished my teaching contract and spent some time with family in NZ.

Nothing has tested our, now seven-year, relationship as much as those prolonged periods apart, but somehow after a fair few fights and frustrations, we got the boundaries and rituals of communicating through time zones worked out for us. I say good night as he says good morning. Every morning.

10922711_10205810269073365_2358354470587294949_nSo, while Ben is taking on new responsibilities at work, meeting new friends and exploring local markets. I am happy to remain in London, working through the deep dark months of winter; eating cereal for dinner and indulging in Sex and the City viewing marathons night after night.

Good morning babe x

P.S. Photo credits to Ben, thanks for letting me share.